Lessons from Our Housefire

And a few Additional Lessons from the 2018 Malibu CA Fire

Lessons from our Housefire

Expect to be frustrated and it will go better. Or, as the Navy SEAL’s nearby you say, “Enjoy the suck!” Some examples.

1. My USAA representative, to his credit, cut me a check for $17,500 the day of the fire. I thought that would last me a few months. It went the first week. I had to put down the first months rent, last months, and current months on an apartment. I also had to buy new beds, furniture, clothes, food, a down payment on a new car as it burned up in the fire, etc. Starting your life and that of your family after a housefire is expensive.

2. We could not get an apartment in our county during the rebuild and had to move to another county. We received a letter from the school administration stating we would be charged $7,000 next semester for my to attend school. When I called and said I was still paying property taxes on the property, the nasty condescending voice at the other end stated: “That doesn’t matter. If you we give you an exception, we have to give all the parents from Baltimore County who try to send their kids to our schools an exception.” I made the mistake of telling the builder we had to be back in the house by January 1 to avoid the $7,000 “out of district” charge. I say mistake, because anytime there was a task he did not want to do he would say, “That will delay you getting back in the house…” knowing that I wanted to avoid that $7,000 charge.

3. As the basement of the house was drenched in the original fire suppression and was open to rainfall for the two months before the rebuild began, there was mold in the basement. The builder refused to touch mold. I had to clean it with hydrogen peroxide and bleach on my way home from work each night. The really bad mold I eliminated with, I kit you not. a blow torch. At one point, the builder put in locks and refused to give me a key. He did not know I installed the basement window and it did not need a key. So, each night I would lower my 6-year old through that window, he would open the door, and I was able to resume cleaning up the mold.

4. While my wife was in the Johns Hopkins burn unit, I had to fill out a long spread sheet from my insurance company USAA listing my possessions. We were blessed the first 3 weeks after the fire to be taken in by my wife’s cousin. While there, I filled out each cell on the spread sheet with out prior items late into the night. I learned the meaning of depreciation. The refrigerator that I thought would have a $2500 replacement cost they listed at 1/100th of that in their view.

5. USAA would not replace wood if it did not have “structural damage” as they defined it. So, I had to go paint over the 2 x 4’s with Kilz primer. Otherwise, the fire smell would remain in the walls when we moved in. My wife, naturally, now hated that smell as it almost ended her life. I painted all the surface burned wood with Kilz primer, let her walk through the house when it was almost rebuilt, she did not smell the fire, and was willing to move back in. She was the one who was burned and I had to respect her need to not smell the fire again.

6. The day of the fire, after my wife was medevacked out and my sons went to my wife’s cousins’ house, dozens of “jobbers” dropped by and gave me their business cards. The person you see in the photo at the top arrived BEFORE the fire engine. Some businesses monitor emergency communications to secure business. Be wary of everyone who wants to do business with you on the rebuild.

7. Come to terms with the fact that you have lost everything and the recovery will go better. I should have known when my medically obese neighbor showed up and kept wiping his feet on my beautiful Irish sweater Pat Dougherty’s grandmother in Northern Ireland knitted for me when I was eight, that things had changed forever. But I thought I could save our clothes so I had them dry cleaned by one of the businesses that showed up. Big mistake. The fire smoke penetrates every fiber and you never get the smell out. I had to discard the clothes I paid to have dry cleaned.

8. Hard as you try to prevent it, at some point you will get ripped off. In my case, USAA had a disaster recovery company where all my remaining goods were shipped. I spent many days parsing through them, save some, discarding most. A year after the fire, I received a call from the USAA rep asking, “Mr. Curley, did (dishonest disaster recovery company) keep your items in a temperature controlled, air conditioned, clean environment?” “If you consider a 110 degree filthy shipping container meets those standards, they sure did.” He thanked me and that company was only paid half what they charged USAA.

9. Your insurance agent is a frenemy. He or she will agree to do what you request…or not. When I stopped by to check on the company doing the clean up, the guy had two very young children helping him. When I protested saying young children should not be near toxic waste and to stop using them, he said, “Mind your own business. What do you know about toxic waste?” I said, “Well, I’m working on a biohazard detection system for anthrax and…” he cut me off with, “Like I said, mind your own business, as##ole!!!” Rather than argue with a fool, I contacted my USAA rep and said I not only wanted him off the job, but not to use his company to do the rebuild as well. The rep tried to argue with me, but I stuck to my guns. We had to have a big meeting with the clean up and rebuild company, their lawyer, the USAA rep, and me. They all tried to intimidate me into continuing with them. My brother is a lawyer and found 7 problems with the contract I signed, including that they had misspelled my name. The clean up and rebuild president said, “I don’t have to do this, but out of deference to the amount of business we do with USAA, I will make an exception this one time.”

10. You will need to say “No” even when it is hard. For example, many good meaning neighbors began bringing by clothes. I had to inform them that we could not use them (as most did not fit). They were not happy but that is the truth.

11. You must ask others for help when needed. When I went to see my wife in the burn unit, I barely recognized her because of the extreme swelling of her face. She asked me through swollen lips how the kids were and to see if I could find her wedding ring and her purse. On the way home at 12:30 p.m., it all hit me. I had an adrenalin dump. Having survived many street attacks growing up in Philadelphia, I knew what an adrenalin dump could mean then: an accident as the loss of brain chemicals led to exhaustion turned to sleep. I pounded my legs, blasted the radio, and rolled down the window. Nothing was working. So, I called my brother in Seattle and begged him to talk to me until I got home alive. “Sure, Bro, no problem!” was his response and I lived.

12. Expect to be frustrated. Although I spent days going through the kitchen muck, I never found my wife’s rings or purse. When weeks later I took her to the MVA to get a new license, the clerk refused stating she had to have a prior license to prove who she was. “You have illegals all over this MVA getting licenses who can’t even speak English and you refuse to giver her one?” I asked. “Those are the rules!” she answered. “Look at her. Look at her. I am Mr. Curley. This is Mrs. Curley. Look at her. Does she look like she ever lies? Look her up in your system. Her photo in that system will match that face.” She did and Robin got her license. Again, expect to be frustrated as you rebuild your life.

13. Expect stress arguments. When we were in that tiny Frederick City apartment after the fire, Robin and I had a horrible argument. Can’t recall why. But when I look back, it was just a stress argument, hers and mine. Do not allow your stress to overcome your marriage. Take a break when things get difficult and this too will pass.

14. Everyone experiences a housefire differently. My oldest went away to college shortly after the fire and did not experience living in the tiny apartment. I had a very intense job at the time working on the biohazard detection system for anthrax (and eventually other threats) so it kept me from thinking about the fire and the resulting difficulties. My wife worked hard at her recovery, soon retuned to work, and was the resilient rock we could all count on, as I will relate.

15. After several days in the burn unit, my wife called me to say, “You need to pick me up at the Hilton Hotel. I signed myself out. I need to teach you how to dress my wounds.” I was in shock. “That’s impossible! The doctors say you need to stay in the burn unit another 3 weeks.” She was not to be mollified. “Yeah, well they don’t have a son graduating high school in two days. Get down here and get me.” Realizing she really had signed herself out, and knowing that she was determined to make Josh’s high school graduation, I went to her. And she taught me how to dress her wounds. The vomit inducing smell of her burnt flesh puss is the example I use to younger men when explaining the “Sickness and in health” part of a marriage is real.

You are and will be in my Prayers

I know how painful losing a home, having my wife burned and medevacked to a burn unit, and the thousands of decisions that must be made to begin a life anew with young children can be because I have been there. I offer the above lessons in the spirit of knowing somewhat what you are going through and hope they help.

Finally, I want to pass along something a neighbor who stopped by said the very day of the fire. “It will get better. You will see.” Although I was not able to see it at the time, in the intervening 22 years I have realized she was right…it has gotten better.

Prayer works. Jesus is King! And I will pray for your recovery and health and new homes for you and your family in my daily rosary.

Think of the American Veteran’s who made the ultimate sacrifice. And many of the fire fighters who just braved the intense heat and frustration of dry fire hydrants are American veterans and deserve our eternal thanks. We owe it to them to give it our best to aid the recovery to keep the American Dream alive.

2018 Malibu Fire Lessons

There are numerous lessons offered by the massive fires in Southern California, but there have been many catastrophic fires there before that have also offered lessons that were ignored. One is the Malibu fire of 11/08/2018. Robert Kerbeck wrote the definitive study of those lessons in his book Malibu Burning: The Real Story Behind LA's Most Devastating Wildfire.

On 09/14/2022, I wrote a post on my prior civil defense blog analyzing his lessons about that fire. Every disaster offers lessons, and the Malibu fire of November 8, 2018, as Robert Kerbeck writes about so well in his book (as he does in his other book Ruse), offers many that tragically were ignored and the fire of early January, 2025 just 7 years later.

Having lost our house to fire in 2003 (photos), I identify with the lessons he states, even if ours was an individual loss and his book follows the burn of over 1,000 residences in Malibu. I also include photos of the rebuilt house to help give you some hope that it will get better…eventually.

We never expected our house to burn down from a defective electric lawn mover, or that the Consumer Product Safety Commission knew about the issue from 12 other house fires due to this faulty product and ordered its recall, but it did.

That the tyrannical local and state government in California will make it difficult to rebuild a house destroyed in a fire due to mortal sin level corruption, rampant graft, communist politicians, excessive counterproductive “green” regulations, horrendous taxes, etc. is a fact but too large a story for this Substack.

Although there is no changing those facts, we can learn and implement lessons to lessen the damage for the next fires there. Until I can analyze the current fire and its causes, I hope that the analysis below that highlights the main points in Robert Kerbeck’s tome Malibu Burning are studied, learned, and implemented in the great rebuilding that will follow this fire.

Below are just a few of the lessons Robert Kerbeck offers in his book.

Prepared Citizens can Save their Homes

According to Kerbeck, he had prepared for years for a fire as that was a regular natural disaster in Malibu, his hometown. He saved his home by having the means to keep it safe from fire, including sufficient water, a pump, and a chemical fire retardant, Phos-Chek.

"Over the years I'd acquired other gear: Masks, nozzles, a specialized wrench to access the hydrant at the top of our driveway, and a flame-retardant chemical called Phos-Chek." Page 3

You Are on Your Own

"A surfer buddy, Tim, once told me what gear to buy for the inevitable wildfire. A lifelong local, Tim had also warned me that there would be no firefighters when the time came, that if I wanted to save my place I would need to stay and fight for it myself. Being from Philadelphia, I couldn't imagine firefighters not showing up. I wasn't sure I believed him, but it couldn't imagine firefighter not showing up. I wasn't sure I believed him, but it couldn't hurt to be prepared. He explained that the hydrant water would run out, so it was essential that I have a pump and my own water source." Page 2.

So many Americans are operate in disaster under the assumption that the government will rescue them in a disaster. This is not true.

Basically, you are on your own. Firefights choose what fires they will try to put out on their own. Sheriff's follow their superiors orders. The Federal Emergency Management Agency shows up months after the event and a very limited number of fire victims receive any money. It is worse now as that this American tax payer money that should have gone to help American’s who have lost their homes instead went to Ukraine. Incredibly, even the fire equipment to fight this fire went to Ukraine in 2022!

Authorities Often Issue Contradictory Commands during a Disaster

In Chapter 9, Shelter in Place, Kerbeck explains how the fire chiefs and sheriff's were recommending that the students at Pepperdine University evacuate while the leadership of the school insisted the students shelter in place.

As you might imagine, these contradictory message resulted in many students driving away in their car fleeing the fire while others remained behind as the fire passed over them.

These contradictory messages happen in all natural disasters when the various layers of government (local, state, and federal) and agencies within each issue differing orders for what to do.

Firefighters Work for their Superiors, Not You

"The group laid out the hose and hooked it to the hydrant on the ocean side of the highway. The four-inch hose was heavy even without water, but once it was filled it required Ryder and six or seven others just to move it around. Simeon manned the nozzle and blasted the flames on the ocean side, putting most of them out. The men then focused on knocking down the fire on the land side. As they did, at least twenty engines drove past. Occasionally, they ran over the hoses in the middle of the highway but they never stopped. Finally, Ryder flagged one engine down. The captain in the passenger seat rolled down his window, flashed a thumbs up sign, and took off. The message was clear. the group of men - the Paradise Cove - were on their own." Page 123

Many other citizens of Malibu requested and begged firefighters to protect their homes from the spread of the fire. Kerbeck documents that in almost every case of this request, the firefighters refused to roll down a window and simply drove away.

As shocking as this behavior was for most citizens of Malibu, they do not understand that those firefighters follow the orders of their chiefs who told them not to engage in front line firefights but to avoid engaging until the fire passed.

Outside Emergency Workers do not Answer to You

"The LA County Sheriff's Department had set up roadblocks to prevent anyone from getting in or out of the city, but there were also roadblocks within the city. Ostensibly, they were resigned to keep looters out, but they also kept out resident who wanted to return to their neighborhood. The sheriff's didn't care if someone was a resident and had the ID to prove it. One elderly woman had heard a gas station was open in mid-Malibu. Anxious about being low on fuel, she went to fill up. On the way back she was stopped at a roadblock. She had to abandon her car and walk on foot past the checkpoint where she waited in the hopes that a neighbor could pick her up and drive her home. Fortunately, someone did."

"The sheriffs didn't seem to grasp that those who stayed behind had saved hundreds of homes, possibly even preventing the fir from moving into the eastern part of the city. They often acted like the locals were getting in their way, not appearing to appreciate the fact that most Malibuites had seen no first responders during the fire." Page 135

Some Citizens Rise to the Occasion

When the local and state politicians, fire fighters, law enforcement, and administrators provided no relief, the citizens in Malibu set up their own relief center with supplies for those left behind.

They called it the Point Dume Relief Center.

Relief supplies were brought in by boats from the ocean as the authorities had shut off all relief supplies by road.

"[Malibu City Manager Reva] Feldman seemed even to resent the presence of the volunteers at the Relief Center, Judy (Point Dume Relief Center Organizer) told me. With no help from the real government, community members had come together to create their own. The fire and its fallout quickly acquired a nickname. Locals called it the YOYO Fire, for You're on Your Own.

One week in, the city finally did send something. Two Porta Potties." Page 138

The Citizens do not Rise to the Occasion

"My across-the-street neighbor lived in a forest of flammable trees, so it was no shock when his house burned to the ground. What surprised me was that afterwards he cut down every tree on his property, even the ones that hadn't burned. He learned his lesson, but many other homeowners stubbornly refuse to remove dangerous trees, claiming they create privacy and add value to their homes. But what's the value of a burned-down house?

By cleaning your brush, you give yourself, your neighbors, and the fire department a fighting chance. I wonder how many homeowners would remove their flammable trees if firefighters said they would no longer defend such properties." Page 225

Authorities do not Rise to the Occasion

"Experts I interviewed said the most important thing homeowners can do to mitigate the fire risk is to reduce the amount of available fuel. Yet more than six months after I begged members of the Malibu City Council to institute a flammable landscaping and materials ordinance, nothing has been done.

Living in California, for all its beauty and great weather, means being only a natural disaster away from living on the streets. Some people believe it was folly to build in Malibu in the first place, let alone to rebuild over and over...

To my knowledge, the city of Malibu hasn't instituted a single law to make Malibu more fire safe." Page 225

There are many other lessons in Malibu Burning or human behavior when confronted by a natural disaster, a fire in this case. It offers deep analysis of what works and does not work. It is worth reading for the civil defense tactics and for how to deal with your families, neighbors, and the authorities.

It Was Nothing

“It was nothing”

Wrote my six-year old

In a Thank You card

To his first-grade class

I discover a decade later

Among family heirlooms.

Except that it was something.

It was a house fire

That but for seconds

Almost took his life,

And my life

And the life of his older brother

And burned my wife

Severely enough

That she was medevacked

To a burn unit at Johns Hopkins.

“Thanks for all those cards!

Everything is okay!

I bought all new clothes

And my mom is okay.

All of my drawings are okay

And none have been thrown away.”

He continues in bravado that wins wars.

He does not know

That day after day

I sifted through the flotsam

And the muck of oil, ash, plastic,

Wire and paste to separate out

What was worth preserving

And what had to go to the dump.

Because it was ruined beyond saving:

Photos of family events, clothes,

Furniture, electronics, poems,

And even his pictures

He drew with such beauty

That now stunk

And were smeared with ash.

He does not know

That I wailed like a baby

When first driving from the hospital

After seeing his mother hours after the fire

When the full effect of her burns

Displayed on her face and arms

And I did not fully recognize

My own wife

And after having just spent the day

Dealing with media wolves,

Insurance men, contractors,

Notifying family and friends,

And dragging my guns, ammo, computers

And family photos from the house

After a volunteer firefighter

Allowed me to break

The back French door

To get what few possessions were left

From the rage of the fireball

That ripped through the house that day.

He does not know the odor

Of his mother’s flesh wounds

When I removed her old dressings

With the puss and blood and weeping,

And wrapped the new dressing

Because, core of iron and flower,

She had signed herself out

Of the burn unit early

To be able to see her older son

Graduate high school and I had to learn

To be the attending nurse in minutes.

He does not know

That even today I kiss and caress

His mother’s scar tissue tenderly

At times and remember

The fact that I almost lost her

In the fireball that turned

Like a yellow, blue, purple, white

Demon from acrid hell

That couldn’t be real, but was,

And was really THERE...

Insidious, hateful, violent, hot, vicious,

Trying the steal the life

Of my wife and children in minutes

As I had to think and race

To free them from its death-dealing power.

“Thanks for everything”

He concludes his note.

“Thanks for everything”

I repeat, and fall to my knees

And plead with God,

The Trinity, the Angels, the Saints,

And anyone else, human or divine,

Who saved our futures that day.

“Thanks for everything,

Even if I never said it that day.”

Bruce Curley

December 30, 2011